Minneapolis/St. Paul
By "Jenny Kirk"
Yes, people say "Oh ya, you betcha!" And yes, occasionally you'll hear "Uff-da!" But you'll sound like an idiot if you don't have the Minnesota accent.
Yes, the weather is cold. Yes, it snows and sleets and you can wake up to four feet of snow that wasn't there when you fell asleep. But it's also hot, from about mid-May until late-September and the humidity levels might rival the Caribbean. The great weather is mid-September until the end of October, and then April and May.
Minnesota Nice is generally bullshit for the Cities, unless you're waiting in line for the clubs, the theater or a sports game (football: Vikings; hockey: Wild; baseball: Twins) and then everyone's more than willing to tell you about their car not starting, their twelve year-old niece's ballet recital and other inanities. There's an occasional severe lack of knowledge on traffic/pedestrian laws, even when you have the white walking guy.
First Ave, The 400 Bar, Turf Club and Quest are four of the big music clubs in the Cities. All but Quest are 21+ for most (if not all) shows. Salsa dancing at the Quest, Sunday nights.
The Mall of America (MOA, to locals) is the largest mall in the United States and is only rivaled by the West Edmonton Mall for the largest in the world. It's mostly a novelty, go once and you're done with it, but there are four floor of straight shopping. Specialty shops (the garlic store, the peanut butter store and the chili store, to name a few) combine with mainstream stores (two Victoria's Secret stores, and at least two Gaps) and there's an amusement park in the middle. Camp Snoopy comes complete with fake counselors, rides and cotton candy.
The University of Minnesota (locally known as The U) spans large parts of Minneapolis, and don't be surprised if you run into sections of town full of student housing named Dinkytown, among others. They're the Gophers and are big on hockey, like the rest of Minnesota. A lot of somewhat-unknown musicians play there, and you might get lucky with a widely-known headliner once in a while. Guest speakers abound.
The Cities are a huge spot for colleges and universities. Within a few mile radius lie about six colleges in St. Paul, many more in Minneapolis. MCAD, Minneapolis College of Art and Design, holds art showings and artist speakers and is nearby to the Minneapolis Institute of Art (MIA).
Public transportation is mostly a bus system, though there is now a lightrail that goes through both cities. It's a very safe, but complicated with numbers and letters that often have no consequence to where you want to go, system. Speaking of transportation, road crews are very timely (though they aren't about to go out and clear the road if it's three in the morning and two more inches are predicted to fall), but keep a shovel in your car, even if it's a rental. You might need to dig yourself out.
Don't knock ice fishing. Lots of people love it, and since it's the land of a thousand lakes (many manmade and that's a low estimate anyway) everyone can have their own hole in the ice. Give it a try; it's a novelty and then you can say you ice fished in Minnesota in (insert Cold Winter Month here).
There's a great theatre scene, with several local and small theatres and then the big headliners that get things like Wicked! and RENT. Being big college towns, you're also likely to catch an underground but amazingly well done play at any of the schools around.
Charles Schultz was from St. Paul. This explains the statues of Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy and Snoopy all around the place. Some cities do pigs and cows, we do Peanuts characters.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, also St. Paul. His house is actually still around and a museum of sorts; worth a tour if you're a fan, otherwise it will feel like a high school field trip.
St. Paul is the land of Prairie Home Companion (and Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, the men are good-looking and all the children are above average) and the freakishly tall Garrison Keillor. It's rare that he's in town doing a show, but it's phenomenal live if you get the chance.
St. Paul is on the east side of the Mississippi River, and all the radio and televisions based there have call letters beginning with W, and Minneapolis is on the west bank, starting with K. While both cities have a fairly even feel of residential/cultural areas, St. Paul has an overwhelming feel of home and Not A City in certain parts, but Minneapolis lets you know you're in a city.
The airport is in Minneapolis and it's really long. Really. The suburbs are just that, suburbs and aren't worth mentioning because you'll only go there in passing. Leave the Cities and suburbs, though, and you'll run into rural Minnesota. They take hunting seriously, and they're all blonde and tall because the Nordic countries discovered the States far before Columbus did. Or that's what they'll try to convince you.
Again. It snows. A lot. And it gets cold, like minus-thirty wind-chill. For a week. Long underwear may seem geeky, but you'll go numb faster than you can spell the river if you leave them home.
